Sunday, January 08, 2006
" Nur count your blessings for tha onces who love u. . U have felt tha love that not any individuals get, UR GRANDPARENTS LOVE. Such a affection love by grandparents are rare and unique. They bid goodbye to u to anothar world is to see u to be somebody. U got to be strong and move on with life. U have me,Hanif,Ur guy. . just count ur blessing. Ya a strong character and that will lead u on. .stay strong babe"I remember that faithful sentence by ma aunt. . That inspires me to move on with life. Im living in a flamboyant life without a direction to decide. Many will see me as a cheerful character. Someone that cluld brighten your day. But y it seems outraged enough my own FAMILY treated me as disgusting creature? Is it my fault? Do i have to change? To be frank enough, im clueless. . . . Hanif came to ma house today . . THanks HAN for making ma day! I felt so deserted. Im not in talking terms with my mum.. been mute towards each othar for 2 weeks and i felt immune it. I didnt realise ma bro and ma lil sis been so rude towards me until today. Ma heart felt a prang n felt liked being spank. Arsyi is tha only loved one i can count on. Bahri was acting liked a mat rip. He went out with ma mum and obviously his mind been poison. Y of all people ma bro? Y does he hap that egoistic character that can never be replaced? Y is he so cold to me? Im speechless. . hes too influenced that he tinks hes doing everythang rite. He talks to u that he knows everythang . . he sweet talk ma mum but behind he still went drinking. He has an empty vessels but made tha most noise. He uses strenght to shud me up. SO Y THA FUCK I NEED TO BE THA OLDEST SISTER? Nobody respects nor listen to me. He can beat and scold vulgar to me without a sense of apologising. . Y? Cause ma mum allow it. Y does IFFAH being a bitch to me? BECAUSE MA MUM ALLOW IT! But when she cried and tellt tha whole bout me? Tha story changes and ma life damages!I dont bother myself telling tha truth to tha jury because i believe im being influence to this motto of ma aunt , " THA TRUTH WILL B OUT SOMEDAY". Ma aunt could choose to be rotten by tha scamp news or believing tha innocense. I dun blame them to believe my mum cause they have a choice and i refuse to judge.Im financially unstable. I got to sell of ma phone for my own financial security. Drops of pearls flowing ma eyes. . y does ma life got to be this way? BUT HEY! IM STRONG AINT IT? i dun have a circle of friends around me lending their shoulders to cry on. . sometimes even ma guy dun hap tha time. So y depend on them? I'll just hap to struggle. Im a social person but i refuse to keep mum on ma life. Ma tears are dried long time ago. Its time for me to look forward and believe in tha word sacrifice. I work and save tha cash. Only necessities of urs will b bought. I dun need those skeptical look nor tha nacarsistic comment. Shut ur fuck up! IM alone and im happy with it. . . I too can make a choice of ma own living. And i choose INDEPENT.Han i promised u, i will be a good mum and thanks for those couraging words. God thanks f0r blessing me external love. PLs grand me tha right path and prove to those villians im SOMEBODY IN THA FUTURE. Im not writing this to show my pitiful life which seems absurb enough. Im fortunate to still be blessed by love. There are othars thats struggling without family, kin or friends. To all whoes reading this, Thanks for spending some time with me and share a bit and patch a piece of love to me. I love you guys.To busu and Han, Im blessed to have u. . I love u. . To B: IM SO IN LUP WIT U. . .
wonderful idea...
6:04 AM
