Saturday, August 19, 2006
something weird happens to me the other night. . . .
ma love boat wasn't sailing us to love paradise but instead a paradise seems so deserted and dull. . . . and thats what happening to us for tha pass three days. . . . its hard to conquered tha feelings especially if ya in tha same workplace especially is its a hush hush relationship and only tha closets clique knows it and we tried our very best to smile to each other and communicate even though tha heart is aching badly. . . . . .
Tha root to this problem is clashing of shift and aint spending time with each other for one straight week. . . . i was shocked by myself i could endure this burden lack of communication,qualitied time spend but yet deep inside i love him very much . . . i am shocked. . totally . . .
i was under alot of streesss. . .financially adding to it is ma mum. . . what can one do when no one showers love to u but urself? spending tha nights alone . .feeling empty in ur heart. .longing for someone to hold u and said everything going to be alright. . . i'm getting sick of this sickness and only " LOVe" would be tha right medication. . .
t hanks rahim for being there for me. . he knows ma guy is at fault and so am i for not giving in . . . but he told me this ," if hes fire. . u got to be tha water . . just like what i did to all my friends" i am always tha water . . soothing off every problems. . i spend a few minutes thinking of it, finally i pluck ma courage to call him even though ma heart was hurting . . .
he uses his ego wit his stubborness denying every fault in purpose of hurting me again. . . i asked him to go to sleep and shut tha phone. . . i breakdown after that n cried ma heart out. . . i cant stand that attitude but deep down i love him so much. . . i decided to dial rahim no. . . but guess what guys? i heard his voice! appearantly.. . i did not shut tha phone properly and he hearrd ma cries n sobs! oh gosh! imagine ma embarassment! i kept denying i cried but he knows it and apologise. . . i ponder to maself . . . .
i totally remembered shutting tha phone of but y is he online? Was this a new creation by god to ma life?
rahim was shocked and laugh out loud! he cant stand laughing and glad we both make up. . . . ma supporter on ma relaltionship. . . hahahs. . .
i love this guy. . . . i didnt mind giving in. . . with this argument we just had we learned both faults never to repeat it again . . . .
i leave tha rest to god. . . i have to be tha most understanding person to him and conquered tha most stubborn person i known in ma life . . . .' HIM'
thangs haf go on track. . . i will try to take it as much as i could. . . but if theres no way to handle. . .god will show me tha way . . i love tha way he brought me to this love life m going tru. . . he's tender n full of spice. . . we could never fight facing each other but on tha phone is where tha problem lies. . .
i have given up in tha matter of tha heart(TO BE IN LOVE). . . i cant be bothered of monthly anniversary . . m just waiting for tha right one to blew me away. . . . if its him im blessed but i just wanna him to be a better man . . thats ma only wish. . . . i dun wanna him to see me shed unhappy tears instead tears of joy but god had shown him ma unhappy tears but y? m clueless. . . .
hey hirin . . i know ya reading this. . .. hirin ur matter wit zell is an easy one. . that happens to me before but sometimes both parties haf secrets that couldnt be shared. . . guys preferred to shared secrets solely to themself aint us gal forever reporting to our boyfriends. . . hahahas. . . hope everythang happen as per normal for u both . . . . n sweetie ya new bloggy aint any tagboard. . . :( anyways take care n hap a great day ahead. .
hanif! call ma HP! 98777947! i hope u know that! n huney i lup u. . mwaacks!
-pinkis sanoritas- signing off!
wonderful idea...
2:30 AM
