Girl with the Wings

Saturday, November 18, 2006

Aloha people! Yee HaA! A very good mawnin to you people! Its past 2am n i still cant sleep (huney wud kill me)! hahahs! Ma life? Its killing me softly. . .

How would you feel as a daughter seeing ur mum crying,sobbing without noticing tha hurt shes feeling all these while? U knew this hurt will come anytime soon. . perhaps in years time but it swayed too fast. . like how tha whirlpool sweeping away tha mother nature of tha sea? u felt paralysed aint nowhere to go to. . . with you left alone thinking of tha solution? Theres two hard choices tha could be made. . either one would kill tha solution. . . m clueless. .m speechless people. . i cant be forever taking urgent leave in this hectic situation. . i have got to work. . and u know what people? all tha sobbings about? a simple yet a word tha used millions around tha world. . which vice versa used in ur daily life. . . which has millions different meanings " L.O.V.E"

L.OV.E was so powerful . . tha magnect of attraction in ma life. . tha shattered dreams piercing tru a human life like an heart attacked. If you love, pampered ur love ones two much. .aint knowing tha freedoom,tha protection given to him/her could let it astray. . m sorry mum. . i guess you have learn a bitter lesson. . It hurts me tha most. . seeing ma mothar crying . . breathing each day wit a heavy burden shes carrying in her soul. . i felt helpless. . I felt betrayed sometimes. . Whats god showing us? Whats this prove for? One answer from me. . an eye opener for ma mum. . something new. . something that she learned. . for onces in her life. . she's a baby crawling learning how to walk. . with othars giving her tha encouragement to walk n learn how to talk. . I wanna regain tha smile in her heart. . i wanna her to fly. . free of problems. . if i have tha power. . if i were offered a potion. . a wish. . i would trade ma life for in. . but oh well. . . life is too short . . too complicated. . too hard for us to undarstand. .only him above has tha answer . . All i could contribute resolving this matter is TRUTH. M using truth. . hate me for now. . . u will thanked me in times to come. . .

Hahahs guys! Speaking of truth. . . Here it goes. . Tha jerk. . tha parasite whum stick to me . . sucking ma blood for monay. . . is getting married to a pathetic ugly minah. . . whues pregnant with hes child. . promising her good life. . lying n keep on lying. . running away from people . . THIS MINAH MAKES HER OWN PORN MOVIE! wow! m i estactic! Phew. . Thank god ma virginity protected. .Phew! Aint a soul taking it away till m registered MARRIED. . will still stick and abide to ma rules . . those whues been long wit me would undarstand. . THIS IS WHAT I MEANT REAL JERK! get it ma lovely ladies? hahahs!

Huney and me been perfectly great. . . its kinda irony when we both spending less time together. . . . feeling pissed wit rumours and people getting jealous of ma huney . . cant u get it people? He aint cuming to HMV! get it straight. . u dun hap to be a pest . . Darling just smiled and told me. . " Dun worry lah dear. .someday i will make a comeback. .making them gasp in amazement" hehes. . At last syg kept hes hair trim and short. . when he came to fetched me that day. . i just looked and him n smiled to maself. . what a blessing i been getting from god. . someone that makes me smiled deep n forever whispering to maself whenever i looked into hes eyes . " I love him grandpa" " I love him grandma". I love Him. " like how i once love u. ." these word would whispered slowly as i looked into sky. . . My Suffi brings tha love of them alive.

.:. He would kiss my hands whenever i giggled or laughed to his jokes. . just like my grandpa did.

.:. He would hug me tightly whenever i lectured or talked sensed to him muttering, " syg dier" kissing ma cheecks for tha endings. . .

.:. Tha way he lectured ma wrong doings, hes principle in live driving me to ma fond memories of ma granny.

.:. Hes generosity was onced both ma grandparents attitude.

.:. He has tha height of ma grandpa. . short n cute! hahahs!

.:. When we are in a cab, bus ride. . he would strech hes hands. . hinting me an indication to rest ma head to hes chest . . feeling hes heart beating. . just like ma grandpa. .

I can't imagine maself losing him . . its tha feeling of losing both ma grandparents in such a short notice. . tha memories of losing them stays vividly in ma mind. .

I would try ma best to upload ma huney new look! I find him hard to resist. .he looks like a small boy. . . sooo geram like that! hahahs. . . its okie if people looked at him . . oh my. . he looks small for a 23 year old boy just cause hes short but hes cute OKAES! Nvm darling. . i lUp U many many. . . . . .

M waiting anothar week to meet ma huney. . counting tha daes. . i misses him. . ;)

M babbbling to much. . m proceeding to ma LALA LAND! 3 am rite now! Thanks to starbucks caffeine!! U guys take care aites? N u been missed! MwwaaaCCCks!!!!!!!!

- Pinkies Sanoritas -

wonderful idea...
10:02 AM

Thursday, November 09, 2006

aww. . . i miss u guys. . . . alright werk has been hectic n m been taking mc n ul. . . m not in ma best of health. . . ma stomach is hurting now n than. . . its hard for me to get to werk. . . i didnt haf tha courage to tell ma company but oh well . . . . how can i possibly told them that ma stomach is causing a big problem that i cant carry heavy crates anymore? ma huney is angry n worried. . . yeap he came up wit tha best solution . . . to find an office job. . i totally agree. . m not strong like last time. . i been masking maself for time to time. . its time to stop putting up a smile actiing as if everything is allright. . . he dun allow othars to bully me n taken an extra care of me. . m touch. . thanks dearie. . scold me when m wrong. . shower me wit endless love when i needed it. . . i cant sleep at night. . . ma stomach is hurting badly. .

he followed me to an event. . in tha invitation card , "nur&suffi" hahahs. . feeling married gitu . . . its an celebration cum bridal display. . . wow! tha performances was fabulous n tha place was jam packed. . security was tight. . . food was great. . .ma syg was soo supportive. . entertaining me. . ma brother. . n aint forgetting tha drag queens! hhahhahs! damm cute lah he. . he hold on to me tightly when tha wedding display was out. . m aint taking tha hint dearie. . its too early. . imagine one gay wanna share ma bf wit him? hahahs! i dun wan ma bf to be shared!! they say hes cute. . ya right. . tha cute is for me. .if u r reading this.. jangan marah! more pics from tha event. . too lazy to upload it. . .

its funny isnt it when ma bf is 23 n hes looking 16-18 years old? but oh well. . m short anyway . . hahahs. . suffi has changed. . nora. . he does. . thanks dear for waking me up. . he dun wanna hurt me anymore. . i always thought a guy always says he will change but lied. . i put tha mindset to him n m freaking out to hes changes. . m only asking for one. . n hes changing for more. . . he tends to be a great listening ear to ma problems. . he knows most of ma friends are gays. . he open up his mind n mix around wit them like they are hes old friends. . he endure that company which he onces hate. . he doesnt throw hes temper around. . he tends to get calm n solve tha problem together. . n for once. . m feeling tha luckiest on this 8th of tha month. . he hates watching movie as its a waste of money. . but for now. . he watches. . although hes tired n sleepy from hes work. .

if i make a mistake. . he speaks softly n maintain hes tone. . darling i will change too. . give me time. . it aint always ur fault . . . i hap to stop being naggy n stubborn headed. . u have to focus on ur werk. . earn big bucks. . get ur bike license back. . if thats what u wanted. .its been 18th month already!

to ma aunt if u r reading this.. . pardon me if i totally cant attend to ur hum on hari raya since m too exhausted from werk n m feeling weak all i want is to sleep!

to han! i miss u!! can follow me go rumah busu for raya visits?

i hope u guys had a great hari raya. . . i love u guys . . . but ma love for ma bf is growing intensely. . .i lup u huney. . mwaacks!

-take care guys-

wonderful idea...
10:45 PM